I hate horror. Horror movies, horror TV shows, blood, guts,brains, bones, zombies, chainsaws, and especially little ghost girls with tangled hair and wearing nightgowns....it doesn't matter. They are all equally horrorble in my book.
See what I did there? Huh? Huh?
I can't handle horror. I get too scared and just can't accept being unable to sleep for several days on end. The last horror movie I watched was in 2002 (yes, 12 years ago!) and it was 28 Days Later. I was working at the bakery back then and I had to work at 3:30 am the morning after watching the movie. First of all I didn't sleep. I just laid there in bed listening to every sound and creak within the house. Second of all, the drive to work was one of the most terrifying drives because I was certain that a hoard of infected people would come running into the streets and jump in front of my car. Third of all, I had to open the bakery alone and the next person wasn't coming into work until 5:30 am, which meant that I had 2 painful hours alone in the building. I was afraid that something was lurking around every corner, every shelving unit, every doorway, every bag of flour, and would jump out at me and pull out my throat with its teeth.
I'm a wimp when it comes to scary stuff.
For the past 4 years, many of my friends have been insisting that I watched The Walking Dead because it is "SOOOOO GOOD!" (their words, not mine). The only response that can sum up how I feel about their requests is,
Plain and simple. Nope.
The thing that sucks about it is that the show in on AMC which hints that it is likely a phenomenal show since some of my all-time favourite shows were on AMC. Also, IMDB rates the show as an 8.7/10 which is a pretty decent score...and I trust that website quite strongly.
I know that I could never, ever, in a million trillion years ever be able to mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually, be able to handle watching it. I am not ashamed to admit that I 100% lack the skills to survive watching that show. I would have to quit my job, give away my dog, by a shotgun, machete and several hundred boxes of tissue so that I could hide in my bedroom, fully armed, where I would eventually die of dehydration from never being able to stop sobbing in fear of being eaten by a zombie.
Then a few weeks ago I decided to start reading The Walking Dead comic books. I was over at the boyfriend's apartment and it was miserable and raining outside so we were just chilling inside. I wanted to read something and began eyeing his comic book collection (or graphic novels...whatever one wants to call them). He recommended The Walking Dead, which I initially was hesitant to try but decided that I would man-up and read them. My rationale for being able to read them was that I'd never read horror before so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as movies/TV. I would probably be able to handle it all right considering I wasn't seeing the zombies in action and none of them would jump out and surprise me, Also the books began coming out in 2003 and they are still being written, so that goes to show that there is a demand for them, therefore they must be decent read.
I'm proud to say that I have completed the series up to date and I have not been scared out of my mind even once. They are VERY gory and immensely disturbing in every way possible, but they are a very good read. As I read the books, I spoke to several people who watch the show so I know the differences that the writers of the TV show made to the story compared to the books. Some people who died way back in the books are still kicking in the show, plus there are some characters in the show that don't even exist in the books. However, they all go through terrible event after devastating event after horrific event! There were so many times that I would finish a book, close it up and just sit and think about what I just read. If something like this was to happen in the real world, would I be able to survive?
The thing that makes me want to write about these books is that they are one of the most morally soul-searching series of books that I have ever read. To say the least, that's a pretty huge statement for someone to say. As I read these books and follow the story of these people, I am continually searching my own soul, wondering how I would survive in a world as the one described in The Walking Dead. Would I ever be able to endure the horrors that the writer hands out to the survivors, and would I even want to endure them? Would I be able to do the things that these people need to do to survive or simply give up and let myself be swept up on the chaos and death? (as many of the characters do).
The story of The Walking Dead sticks with me very strongly. It's so disturbing and so emotional that I find myself being swept away in the story and constantly considering how a world such as that could exist. There was one incident in book #16 in which I was so disturbed and physically sickened that I had to stop reading, put down the book and think to myself, "This is not real. This is fiction." That goes to show just how much I allowing myself to feel for this story, which is very rare thing for me. I've had some very deep conversations with friends and co-workers about the series and the moral depths that we have reached in these conversations is very intense. Hopefully I never have to know just how strong (or weak) I would be if the world was being overrun by zombies.
Now for the past couple of days I have seen The Walking Dead listed on the TV Listings and I almost have tuned into AMC a couple times to see, just take a teeny tiny peek of the show...but I'm still too much of a wimp. Baby steps Adrienne. Baby steps.