Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Maddening Pleasantry

Alright. I'm going to lay it all out here today. I have a huge beef to talk about and I feel like an absolute a-hole for this being something that I can easily call a pet peeve, but I can't help but feel total disdain for people who do this to me on an hourly basis.

If you're calling my place of work and I answer the phone, please, PLEASE, do not ask me how I am or how things are going where I am. Just ask me your question or tell me the reason you are calling so that we can get the conversation rolling and resolve whatever issue you are calling me about. Whenever I try to explain why this irks me so badly, I don't know if my explanation is good enough to keep from making myself look like a complete jerk. Only in PEI has this ever been an issue so I am thinking that since everyone on the island knows everyone else, they are all trying to be extra friendly so that no one offends anyone else, just in case it gets back to so-and-so's mom that he was rude on the phone to a random server at a bar. What would she think of that!??!

I am well aware that it is common courtesy to ask a person how he/she is when entering a conversation, but I do not think it is at all necessary to ask this question when calling a busy restaurant to ask to speak to a manager, make a reservation or order a take-out burger. Really, you don't care how I am doing at all. You just want to order your food so that it's ready to be picked up in 10 minutes when you arrive during your lunch break. My personal well-being is not the hot topic in this moment and I almost find it insulting that you are taking this extra time to ask me this question during a super busy lunch rush when you truly don't care what my answer will me. Maybe next time someone asks me I will go on about how terrible I am because of a lingering infection in my big toe that has been filling my shoe with puss for the past week and the antibiotics have me so constipated that I can barely walk without having to take a break from the cramping. Maybe that would teach them to ask such silly questions!

I'm sure I will get some hate mail from this blog post and I will get called some bad names because I am trashing friendly people. Friendliness and common decency is quickly going out of style which is a sad thing for sure, so keep in mind that this is just one girls personal opinion and I encourage all of you to be sociable and well-rounded people for the world to enjoy. Just don't ask about my well being anymore.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Hardcore Love for Buffy

I have had some people approach me in person and send me messages via email or attached to the blog telling me their opinions about my thoughts of continuing this blog or not. Even though all of the feedback encouraged me to keep writing, it was my best good (and longest running) friend Gill (I wrote an entire post about her waaaayyyy back in the beginning of this blog)  who inspired me to keep writing. We grew up together and were separated in early teenagehood when her family moved down to Washington. We have kept in contact ever since she moved away and she sent me a quick email pleading me to keep writing because it keeps her in my loop a little bit more than the emails that we send back and forth. I am proud to keep writing this if only for her and for me to continue getting lots of random thoughts and emotions off my chest.

Today I want to talk about something very near and dear to my heart. There is a movie that was made way back in 1992 and most people don't even know it exists. It is a fantastic silly movie with lots of comedy, fighting and amazing one-liners. Like, AMAZING one-liners.

The movie? Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The reason I am even talking about this is because it was on TV the other night and I could not pass up the opportunity to fall into Nostalgiaville. I texted the one person I know to be as psyched about the movie as I would be, my heterolifepartner, and sat back to enjoy the movie as much as ever.  Now I'm not talking about that tv show with that Sarah Michelle girl and...Angel...is it? I'm talking about the classic and ridiculous original movie shot in 1992 featuring a fantastic cast of Kristy Swanson, Luke Perry, Donald Sutherland, Paul Reubens, David Arquette, Hilary Swank...etc. You get my point. Great cast. Sure, most of those people wish to forget that they were ever involved it its production, but that's their own skeletons that they need to deal with.

Before anyone starts to point their finger at me and judge me for loving this movie, (it only got a 5.4/10 on imbd.com), let me explain why I hold this movie in such high regard. First of all, I was 9 years old when it came out so the memory of watching it goes so far back into my memory that I can barely remember a time before it. Second, Luke Perry is adorable in it. Third, it's incredibly cheesy and the plot is easy to follow. Buffy, the blond airhead cheerleader is "the chosen one" who's destiny is to rid the world of vampires and she is to be trained and guided by Merrick, who's destiny is to train the slayer to end the vampire race. Toss in some fighting, dancing, fake blood, an arm amputation, over-the-top costumes and a script that oozes cheese, and I am reliving my childhood over and over again. Fourth, the one-liners and memorable quotes.

Vampire - "Now, I am God!"  Pike stakes him - "Now, you're a coat rack"
"Get out of my facial"
"Pike isn't a name, it's a fish."
"He says I have no sense of history. I have no sense of history? He wears a brown tie!"
"Got any gum?"
Buffy - "It's a stupid dance full of stupid people I see every stupid day!" Nicole - "So now we're like...stupid?"
"It's so five minutes ago!"
"All I want to do, it graduate from high school, move to Europe, marry Christian Slater and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you but I think it's swell."
"God, what's your damage?
"Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?"
"You ruined my new jacket. Kill him a lot!"
"I know that guy. THAT is a bad guy, can we go now please?"
"Shuh, like we care?"  "Yeah...boo hoo!"

What I love about this movie is that it was just a simple movie that was not meant to be taken seriously. I have never watched any of the Buffy series that was on TV and I really have no true or good reason as to why. I think I was put off by the fact that it was so dark and seemed so severe when the Buffy I know and love was corny and none of it was to be taken seriously at all. Plus, there seems to be 2 kinds of people in the world and I am proud to be part of one of those groups. The first is people who love the movie (me) and the second is those who hate it or think it's stupid. I love that those who love it love it sooo much! We're hardcore about our love. I think that those who are not fans saw the series before and could not appreciate the simplicity of the movie or the cast of people involved. Or they're just too dark and serious for their own good.

Plus Kristy Swanson is way hotter than Sarah Michelle Gellar. Just sayin!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Lying Low

I have come to the point in my blogging life where I am trying to decide if I want to continue blogging or retire the site for good - or at least temporarily. The people that I want to read this blog are the people who don't seem to get the time to get around to reading it, which makes me quite sad because that was the whole point of doing this thing. I wanted to keep my friends and family back home up-to-date on my daily events and random thought processes that occur while I inhabit this side of the country. But it seems that the people viewing The Kotyk Report are those either from a million miles away who accidentally stumble upon my page or those who live here on PEI, and I feel that I can just tell them about my daily occurrences anyway when I see them. It also keeps me from repeating myself when I do see these people face-to-face.

Me: "So did I tell you about the other night when I was out with so-and-so and we were walking down the street and -"
Them: "Oh yeah, I read that in your blog the other night."
Me: "Oh. Ok."

See my point? I know that some of my BC people are reading this which is great, so maybe I just need more feedback from them or something. Maybe I'm just feeling uninspired lately and am not feeling excited about the things I write about. Maybe I should wait until something huge and monumental happens in which the world will be truly stoked to hear about.

I have been hiding out the past 8 days because I am in the middle of doing another one of those detox/cleanses and I am finding that I am really disliking the way that most people act around me when they learn of what I am doing. They are making me feel like I am doing some stupid and that it's a huge waste of my time and energy. So, I have been staying away from people. Simple as that. I am going way less hardcore this time around and am still allowing myself coffee and meat, which has been extremely helpful with how I am felling physically. Not that I ever eat much meat anyway, but the amounts that I do eat have given me more strength and mental clarity than during my first cleanse. Plus I completely avoided the horrible headaches by keeping with coffee while getting rid of sugar. The second time around doing this has been much easier because I know of the what I can and cannot eat and still have residual cleanse-friendly food kicking around. But like I said, I am not fond of people's reactions to me and it makes me not want to share.

The thing I find strange about it is that if I were to come out and say that I have decided to become vegan or live wheat-free, gluten-free and/or sugar-free for the rest of my life, most people wouldn't bat an eyelash because they would assume that I have good reasons for wanting to do this and diets such as those have become more of the norm since everyone suddenly decided they have celiac disease (don't get me started on that subject). But since I am only doing this for 2 weeks, they all assume I have some mental problem for wanting to challenge myself to avoid foods that they don't know may be the root source as to why I have had such intense stomach problems since I was 10 years old. Plus I have been feeling better physically this time around then I have felt in a very, very long time. Maybe I'm doing something right by avoiding all of these possible trigger foods?

Please don't let it be the chocolate. Please don't let it be the chocolate.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mooooove Over Maturity

Everyone thought I would outgrow it.

I didn't.

"It's just a phase," they say.

I just can't help it.

I want to grow up, I really do. I want to have a house that is tastefully decorated and a wardrobe that shouts to the world that I have taste and style. In the last 24 hours I have gotten shelves in my bathroom, wicker baskets for those shelves so that I could organize all of my bathroom items and I bought a new lamp to give the living-room a nice glow for the evenings and so that I can read in there without having to use the overhead light. I am trying to act like an adult.

But like I said. I just can't help it. For 17 years I have had an addiction that I just can't break.

I love cows and want to own EVERYTHING cow related.

I know, I know! After the age of 14 I should have grown up and started to collect something else, like boy's phone numbers, trendy clothes or boy band CDs (thankfully I had better taste for that last one!) My collection of cow merchandise got so out of hand that I had to ask my friends and family to stop buying me cow things because I was accumulating so much stuff! Most of it is in BC in boxes, which makes me very sad to think about, so most of the people here on PEI have no idea to what extent this adoration for the bovine variety really goes. But now I am thinking that since I have been deprived of all of my cow possessions for so long, I'm starting to get all twitchy without them and am wanting to buy more.

Like this!

And this!

I hugely want this!

I don't know or understand what this is for, but I'll take one of them too.

But this. This I think I want the most. It explains it all.

I don't know what has gotten into me or where this cow-based post even stemmed from in relation to my day. I was snooping around on etsy.com and just got sucked into everything this website had to offer. Take a look if you have copious amounts of time to kill, because you'll need it.

Monday, January 16, 2012

It's Always Hilarious, Disturbing, Offensive and Sunny!

I have recently been caught in an "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" episode watching craze. Chris has been talking about the show and quoting it constantly since he first began watching it a few years ago. Due to his obvious obsession and cult following to the show, I had no desire to watch it because really, could it be really that good? I have this problem that if someone talks something up to the point where I am bombarded with the topic constantly, then I will completely shut it out and rebel against wanting to have anything to do with it. That's what happened with Harry Potter. Everyone thought these books and movies were the best thing since opium and cheese sandwiches, so I decided that there's no point to read/watch them because they would never live up to the reputation being built up, and up, and up! To make a long story short, I had no desire to watch It's Always Sunny because Chris was building it up so much.

But I ended up watching. And it's hilarious. And now I'm part way through season 7 and am caught between a rock and a hard place. Where to even begin?

If you have never watched the show, it's about these 5 people, aka "The Gang", who own a bar in South Philadelphia. They are mean, dishonest, incredibly selfish, greedy, egotistical, immature and all around horrible human beings who will stab anyone in the back who tries to get in their way to achieve success. And they yell. A lot. And always at and over one another. But the show is funny, clever, well written and the acting is really great. The writers of the show (who are also the actors) leave no stone unturned when it comes to pushing the limits of each plot of each episode. They have had episodes that poke fun of racism, abortion, mental challenged people,  alcoholism, patriotism, religion, child molestation, cancer, guns, drugs, setting people on fire, sodomy, transgender people, sleeping with each others moms, pooping in bed, kidnapping, staging your own death...and the list goes on. Like I said, anything goes with this show.

One of the actors who plays one of the main characters, Mac, decided that he would put on 50 pounds for this season since it pissed him off that in all TV shows the actors get more beautiful as time goes on. As shows become more successful, they make more money which means the actors get more money and better wardrobe, makeup and hair...not to mention extra pocket change for a little Botox here and there. He decided to break the mold and become less good-looking. Mac is probably my favourite character because he is so delusional about his athletic abilities and fighting skills and he cuts the sleeves off of all of his shirts because thinks he's so badass. So the rock and hard place I mentioned above has to do with the first episode of season 7. Mac has obviously gained a lot of weight, or "cultivating mass" as he likes to put it and the gang is worried about him so they send him to the doctor to get some tests done to prove that he is hurting his body by eating Mexican food around the clock. The doctor tells him that he has adult on-set type-2 diabetes and will have to start injecting himself with insulin to control this disease. I was horrified in a couple scenes later when Mac and Dennis are sitting in the bar eating mass amounts of chimichangas, talking about how they have to live life by doing whatever they want with no limitations and Mac keeps stabbing himself in his protruding belly to inject insulin. He even offers Dennis an injection.

Where to begin....my brain is just overloaded. I love the show and I love that anything goes. They will make fun of everything and anything, and in this case it's the perceived notion that not taking care of your body to the point in which you are diagnosed with a potentially life threatening disease can be brushed off with the idea that it is ok because a shot of insulin will handle the problem. Now I know that they are telling the world that we are stupid because so many people believe this and live like this by leading extremely unhealthy lifestyles. I just remember the horror in my gut as I watched the scene because every part of my nutrition background was heaving and rolling in pain. But, I couldn't get upset with the show since they finally did something that offended me personally. I'm sure that millions of people have been offended by that show but still watch it every week because it's highly entertaining, witty and speaks a little of the truth every now and then.

I suppose my rock and hard place was like this; could I be offended by a show that offends everyone but that I still love and support? Is the show supporting the idea that treating your body like complete and utter garbage is ok since there is medicine to keep you going? There are many dim-witted people out there who might look at the episode and laugh (like I did) but not get the real message behind the writing. I guess I just have to hope that the followers of It's Always Sunny have the intellect to read between the lines and know that they are mocking each and every one of us. At least I really, really, really hope so. Cause this show is great!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Owl With Glasses

Both today and yesterday I was reminded of a very important message that I hold dear to my heart but sometimes it slips my mind. Fortunately, the fact that I forget every now and then can be a good thing because it keeps me guessing and constantly surprised about the people I meet.

"Expect the unexpected," or, "Never place someone in a box," would be another good way to put it.

Interesting little post here that I read about how people all love to categorize everything and we're all programmed to do it.

It is so easy to categorize a person the instant we meet them. We all do it every day, even though we may not mean to, it's just the way society works. Just by glancing at another human being, we assume that by the way that person looks or another superficial indicator, that we know what kind of person he/she is. In less than 24 hours (both happened at work) I was surprised by two people that I met and it humbled me greatly knowing that I did not know anything about these people and should never assume anything about anyone until I know everything. I need to become the owl with glasses. It just makes sense.

The first was of a middle aged man who was having a meal with a woman and another man. It was a very busy evening and since they were not my table, I did not give them much thought since I had 400 other things to think about during the time. They were dressed  very casually and a bit "sloppy" according to society's standards but it's not like I work at a 5 star restaurant so their wardrobe did not concern me in the least. Anyway, they kept to themselves and were still at their table chatting after the place had died down a bit. One of the girls I work with, who has worked there for quite some time, told me that this was one of the nicest men that she had ever known and that every so often he goes to Outriders and buys other people's food for them without telling them. He'll randomly select a table of people which he has no relation to and tell their server that he wants to buy their meal. Then when they go to pay the server says that their meal was paid by a random act of kindness who was sitting at a table not too long ago. Isn't that so nice!?!?! He says he does it to remind people that there are good people still in the world and because he just likes to give.

The second person was an older woman who came in for dinner tonight with her husband. They were both probably in their late 60's - early 70's which is a major indicator that they will likely order small meals and eat only half saying that the portions were too large to finish. It's just a fact that older people have smaller appetites and there is a lot of food waste in restaurants when serving this age group. They both ordered hearty meals and I was going to suggest different choices, especially for her because she ordered a very large meal option, but I bit my tongue and did my job by just getting them what they wanted. I was surprised when I came back after my initial "5 minute check in" to find his plate completely clear and hers nearly empty as well. When I picked up her plate she said, "I didn't finish it all because I wanted to save room for dessert," and I said, "You mean you're having dessert here?" (sometimes people go home to have dessert that they made earlier in the day...most of the time apple pie) She ordered the largest dessert we serve and basically licked the plate clean! And no, her husband didn't have even a single bite of it.

Think back to a time that someone surprised you and smile about it. It felt nice to be challenged didn't it?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Good Luck To Me!

I am proud to announce that I have completed all of my grad applications and they have been successfully mailed to various places in Canada. I absolutely detest having to do any kind of application process involving furthering my education because it is so tedious and ridiculously expensive. Having to coordinate getting specific people to fill out specific forms to be my references (or "referees" as the schools call them) and dropping off the papers then picking them up again, is just so much work! Then each school or program wants small little specific things to be done to ensure that we are not only paying attention to their demands, but also to see if we want this bad enough to do these things for them. For example, one place wanted a hand-written letter of intent explaining why I want to attend their program and why I am qualified to even be asking to be part of it. Hand written? What does that even mean? I felt really out of shape writing that letter. My wrist cramped up about half way down the page. It's actually quite surprising just how little anything is hand-written anymore. Type it up, print it off and be done with it. That's the way the world has become.

As I mentioned above, applying to any kind of school or program these days has gotten so expensive that a lot of people can't afford to even apply, never mind attend multiple years of schooling. It cost me roughly $1000 to apply to these 5 places and that is only just for them to read my applications. They all could read the first page and toss it in the trash, take the cheque and go buy a round of drinks for the department. But one school in Ontario was actually free to apply to...hopefully I didn't over look something... now I'm concerned. Why wouldn't they want a free round of drinks if it was in their power to make it happen. I am just really happy that it is all done and mailed away and I don't have to worry about rushing through the paperwork last minute. So now all I can do is wait a few weeks and see if any interviews come out of all of that paperwork. Good luck to me!

Now, just a quick rant to talk about something that drives me bonkers. People who talk for other people. Why do you feel the need to do this? A customer yesterday was totally talking and ordering for the other man at the table and I wanted to say "Dude, he can speak for himself," but of course that would have been rude on my part. But isn't that rude on his part too? I see it over and over again when working in restaurants and a lot of the time it's women who talk for their man. I know it's old-fashioned for men to order a meal for a woman and all that jazz, but it just seems so strange to me that a person would allow another person to do this. Is it a dominating/submissive thing? Even if I knew that my date wanted the clam linguini because he/she ordered it every single time we went to that restaurant, I would let that person place the order. I dunno. Thoughts?

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Awesome Episodes

Today is another episode of Adrienne's Awesome Things which is a blog posting that I give 100% credit to 1000awesomethings.com as my inspiration. This blog is definitely in one of the top spots in terms of favouritism of all the blogs I try to follow since it makes me happy and I can relate to most of the ideas that this guy thinks of as being awesome. I have written a couple of these posts before because every so often I get a surge of realizations of things that are truly great and may not be recognized and fully appreciated by the public.  So I'd like to take a moment and share a few things that I have noticed as being awesome (at least to me) in the past couple of days.

1) Finding a Gift Card You Forgot That You Had - I was digging around the messy contents of my night stand last night when I discovered a gift card that I totally forgot about. It's like finding money! Whoot whooo!

2) When The Siren Blasting Cop Car Speeds Past You - For a couple seconds you begin to panic when you see the lights flashing in your rear-view mirror and you think, "What did I do?" Your eyes immediately hit the speedometer. Nope...not speeding. Didn't run a stop sign or a red light. Didn't cut anyone off and you've had nothing to drink. You pull over to the side of the road and watch as the cop car speeds right on by, not even giving you a second glance. Relief. It's a great feeling.

3) Little Kids in Biker Jackets - It doesn't happen often enough. They're like miniature bikers, but still have their innocence, bodies lacking any tattoos and a vocabulary that contains zero swear words. Their fake leather jackets are a bit too big but it doesn't matter because they look so bloody cute wearing them. The little girl I saw wearing one had pink rhinestones all over the back of it. Classic.

4) People Who Don't Suit Their Car - A suave looking man wearing a dark business suit driving around downtown Seattle in a black shiny BMW just looks right. The car suits him. A construction worker wearing a hard hat and overalls who drives a large crew cab Dodge Ram is a good fit. It works. A couple days ago while I was driving to work, I saw this huge bearded man who looked like he just flew in from the Russian tundra (wearing an ushanka to boot!) was squeezing into his tiny Toyota Tercel hatchback. It just looked so wrong. But it was great!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Rambling Resolution

I know I'm 4 days late...but, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I've never been a big New Years person because, a) I don't really like staying up later, and b) I'm not much of a drinker, however I do enjoy being kissed at midnight so I'm a sucker for that midnight moment. Other than that, New Years is just the day in which the number on the end of the year increases by one, the gyms fill up with hopeful and determined resolutioners and everyone asks everyone else what kind of personal resolutions he/she has planned. This is a question that I never ask to people because sometimes we make resolutions that are very personal and may not want to share it with those we are not close with, if even at all. I wasn't going to share my resolution since I rarely make them and actually, I can only think of one resolution that I have ever made and yes, I stuck to it! This year I decided to once again make a resolution and will truly try my hardest to stick with it.

I am a bit of a mumbler and I have gotten sick and tired of people saying to me, "Pardon me?" or "Huh?" or "You have chalk in your nose?" when really I said that I went for a walk in the snow. I became profoundly self-conscious about my volume of speech when I was 14 years old after a snarly classmate made a rude remark to me in French class about my voice. Ever since I have lowered my voice to a level that a lot of people have trouble hearing it and this year I have had it up to here (raises hand to forehead) with repeating myself. So I am going to speak up and speak more clearly to every person that I encounter in hopes of having normal communication skills with society. I'm actually quite excited about this resolution and I hope it works out well.

Speaking of resolutions, a major one is to eat better and/or be more healthy. I read an article today that I really liked and I thought I would share it. It's called No Meat, No Dairy, No Problem and is just a short piece with a few tips on how to make small changes in your diet which promotes a vegan way of eating. During that cleanse I did a few weeks back, I was basically vegan for most of those 14 days so I have a new found appreciation for what vegans have to do to have a balanced and healthy diet. It's hard and there is a lot of Food Label reading to do as well as plenty of planning ahead when it comes to meal time. The article is not saying that you have to be vegan to be healthy - nothing like that. Now it's true that those who follow a balanced vegan diet have lower rates of heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure and other diseases, but going vegan is definitely not for everybody.  He is just saying that if you include even just one vegan meal a week then it may increase your awareness on how to continue to make subtle changes in your eating which are healthier and promote long-term healthier behaviours. He even added yummy Semi-Vegan recipes for those interested in some ideas that taste great are also good on the body. Give it a try. You just might learn something.