Tuesday, October 22, 2013


Forgive me Maynard for I have sinned.
It has been about 11 years since my last "confession" and now I come forward to purge my sins in hopes of dissolving the heavy burden fallen upon my conscience.

In all fairness, my last "confession" occurred while driving towards Castlegar in my heterolifepartner's Datsun station wagon. It was actually a double whammy in the sin-confessing department since we both confessed to each other on that fateful day. Here is how the conversation went down:

Her - "I have something to tell you."
Me - "What's up?"
Her - "I don't hate the new N'SYNC album."
Me - "I don't hate it either!!!"
Her - "And I kind of love them and listen to them secretly in my car and at home in my room."
Me - "ME TOO!"
(You have to keep in mind that this was 2001 and the two of us were heavily listening to bands such as Limp Bizkit, Good Charlotte, Eminem and so forth).

I'm also pretty sure this was when we officially sealed the deal on our eternal love for one another.

Anyway, confessing the love of a band that, by our standards sucked the big one, was a pretty big deal and we didn't share our mutual feelings with other people.  It's not easy for most people to admit their faults and while curiosity supposedly killed the proverbial cat, my curiosity recently got the best of me.  So that is why today I have to admit to the world of something that I did a few days ago that will rock the foundation of what you think about me and what I thought about myself.

Alright. Here I go.

I got a copy of Justin Timberlake's 20/20 Experience album.

That's not even by far the worst of it.

I also go Miley Cyrus's new album Bangerz.

......No wait. There's more.

I like Miley's album way more than JT's.

There! I said it! I feel so filthy!

I began by first admitting to JT's album because that one isn't that big of a deal. He's come out with some pretty great songs in his time so when I fell in love with "Mirrors" and didn't mind the other released single, I couldn't help but take a peek at the rest of the album to see what was going on there.

But the Miley album....my excuses are pretty thin. I saw her on Ellen a week or so ago and listened to her sing that "Wrecking Ball" song of hers. What captured me about her performance is that she didn't sound like shit. The girl has some decent chops on her and while her style of music DOES NOT fit anywhere on my grid of music that I would ever listen to, I was intrigued. If she had some songs that actually displayed her singing ability and not all of the media propaganda that surrounds her name, the album might be worth looking into.

So I listened to both albums beginning to end (while skipping some songs that made me cringe and I could not make through even though I wanted to legitimately try my best to), I have come to a couple small personal conclusions about them

JT's is alright. A couple of his songs are catchy but there is a lot of repetition of lyrics in his songs which drives me a bit bonkers. In my opinion, the album has some highlights but overall the lyrics just fall short. Sorry JT...but you're sure nice to look at.

Miley's is also alright and actually drives me less bonkers than JT's. Unfortunately the girl can't seem to make a song without help from a featured artist (aka, 6 unimportant lines per song performed by a rapper) and she caters to the young audience by throwing in a decent amount of swearing and sexual references. However, while there are some songs that I can't even try to listen to because they are so bad, she has a couple songs that I actually like. For example, FU is pretty hilarious! It's a great screaming in the car song.

So there we go. The truth is out and I hope no one thinks less of me for any of this. To make up for it I will only listen to heavy metal for the next month in hopes of cleansing my soul of this temporary lapse of sanity.


  1. Oh Age.... You cut me deep, man. You cut me real deep just now. JT I can handle, because while his music kinda sucks, he himself is perfection. But Miley?!? You've betrayed Tool.

    But I still love you! No judgment here. Everyone has *those* albums in their collection. I possess dust-covered copies of Nelly Furtado and Fergie.... I know... It's terrible... And my iPod playlist?!? There's some... eclectic stuff in there...

    God I miss the '90s...

  2. I know, I know. I wore my Tool shirt all day today and listened to Stone Temple Pilots all day yesterday. I am slowly redeeming myself here. Baby steps.

    Fergie though? FERGIE? You have no rights to judge me my friend.

    I miss the 90's too.