Saturday, July 10, 2010

New Type of Discrimination?

When I am not doing vast amounts of reading at work, I spend the remaining hours driving along on my forklift doing a whole lot of thinking. I get pretty wrapped up in my thoughts, which can be a bit dangerous sometimes. Take for example my near collision with a fellow employee named Jarrod who was driving along, minding his own business, when I nearly crashed into him while I wrapped my brain around something that was probably quite unimportant. I would like to point out however that is was just past 4am and I was quite sleepy.

My point on this though is the fact that I have a lot of time to think. Today I got a bit lost in a rather serious subject...a subject which I have been faced with both yesterday and today. That subject is mullets. Yep. The old "business in the front, party in the back" kind of subject. Usually I work with the same 5 guys every day, but one of the usuals is away on holidays and the guy who is filling the shift has a very stealth kind of mullet. Can a mullet really be stealth you ask? Oh you betcha! You know how sometimes when a regular every day normal guy goes a bit too long without getting his hair cut and the hair in the back starts to drape down the neck a little, creating a tiny bit of the mullet look? Well this is what this guy has, but all of the time! So one who doesn't know this guy may think "oh that dude need a haircut because he's starting to get a mullet", but little do they know that's his every day hair. There is one way I determined that this man indeed has a mullet and doesn't just need a haircut, and that involves the whole "business in the front" situation. This man definitely has the spiky business going on, but once again it is rather stealth and only slightly spiky. I applaud your stealth mullet buddy.

So after deliberating this man's hair for far too long, I started thinking about the whole mullet society of people out there. See, the thing with men like this one at work is that guys like him may not even realize that he even has a mullet because it is quite sneaky the way that he has it. What if, after 20ish years, his barber never had the heart to say, "Hey Dave, did you know that I've been giving you a mullet since 1986?". That could devastate the man if he was completely unaware of this fact...a fact that everyone else has already known for nearly a quarter century. So the question is, would you want to know if it were you?

Tip of the Day: Some famous people with mullets - David Bowie, Phil Collins, Michael Bolton, Tom Jones, Steven Segal, Chuck Norris, Macgyver and of course, Billy Ray Cyrus.

My final thought (of the day, not of the subject because I could literally talk about this for days), is that we do not give people with mullets the kind of respect that we give the rest of society. Doubt me if you must, but I can assure you that I am correct with this. Think about it. When you're sitting at a restaurant with someone and you spot an amazing mullet across the room, you would lean towards your fellow diner and say, "check out the mullet over by the windows". You don't refer to the person as a man or woman, race, age, colour of clothing...but as the hair and only the hair. Why is that person known as "the mullet" and not as "the man wearing the blue shirt and jeans who happens to be sporting a famous hair style?" Could this be a type of mulletism? We have racism, sexism, ageism, so why not mulletism? Think about it people.

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