Today is one of those days that I have every once in a while in which I kick myself in the butt for being so hard on myself and remind myself that I'm not as useless as I, every now and then, let my believe to be. Actually I take that back. The past couple days I have surprised myself more than once and it's a nice feeling to be able to do that sometimes.
So why are we so hard on ourselves? Well, I think that there are many reasons for this. The first is that we're afraid to gloat or be proud of ourselves because it makes us look arrogant. We don't want others to think that we think too highly of ourselves so we downplay our achievements. Let's say you get 95% on a test and your friend sitting next to you says "wow, great job!" Never do we say, "Thanks! I did great didn't I?" Nope. We have to answer with something such as, "The prof must have been drinking when he marked these," or, "This mark is a total fluke!" We're raised to be modest and yeah, it's good to be modest a lot of the time. But sometimes you need to just relish the fact that you studied your butt off and appreciate how happy it makes you knowing that your hard work paid off.
We're so critical of ourselves and we're always setting ourselves up for failure. I think this is another reason we're so hard on ourselves. If we strive for the stars and only make it to the clouds (which would be great nonetheless), it's not what we originally wanted so we put down the fact that we even made it to the clouds. We can't ever stop to appreciate what we have because we're always focused on what we don't have. What is the purpose of having this mindset??
So here is why I am feeling happy about myself at the moment. The first reason happened on Friday night when we were stuck for a ride to the Finger Eleven concert (which I had a blast at! I was so happy that they played some of their old stuff along with the new material). Jess has a car but she had a drink
or two and didn't feel safe driving...but it's a standard and I have never driven a standard car in the city before and I was nervous at the thought of attempting it. I've driven my dad's truck on numerous occasions but it was always on quiet old roads with little chance of running into other vehicles. Plus in BC, when you're learning how to drive a stick shift, there's a fear of rolling backwards on a hill and even though PEI lacks hills, the fear is always in the back on my mind. But I decided to give it a shot and totally rocked it! I stalled it once which frankly, is nothing considering it was the first time I had ever driven her car. I was so proud of myself for trying and succeeding! The second event happened this afternoon when I got back a test which I was certain I did terrible on. Honestly, I don't know how I got the mark I received but I am thankful that it turned out that way. Way to go me! I guessed all of the right answers! There I go being modest again...but I did honestly guess most of them. Eeny meeny miny mo paid off for me this time.
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