It is already the 10th of December and even though all of the shoppers are out buying presents and the city is decorated to the max and stores are crammed packed full of Christmas decorations and blaring festive music - I'm just not feeling Christmas this year. Every so often I get this burst, this surge, this moment of excitement that the holidays are here. For an hour or so I am pumped and decide to go out shopping and look for gift ideas and look through recipe books for festive foods to make. Then the sensation dissipates and I'm left feeling with a sense of emptiness that I have never had before during the holidays.
People keep telling me they understand the feeling and it's because we have no snow and the weather has been so incredibly warm. But I know the main reason for this is the obvious fact that I am not going home for Christmas and it pains me every time I think about it. It's the little things that make Christmas special to me, like the way the house glows when I wake up in the morning and the only brightness in the house is from the lights on the Christmas tree. Or the comforting warmth that envelopes the house when everyone is gathered together to celebrate the holidays. I feel like all of the Christmas traditions that I have spent my lifetime celebrating are on the other side of the country without me and I have none of my own to have here. I know this is sounding all very "poor pitiful me, my life is so terrible", but I think I'm allowed to be homesick right now. I also know that there are so many amazing people here that I am lucky enough to be able to spend the holidays with, but they can't replace the warmth of a hug from my dad or the content of walking the dogs early Christmas morning before the gifts are unwrapped, or the happiness I will feel while watching my niece tear apart the wrapping paper and become overwhelmed with excitement for whatever treasure is underneath. I am sad to miss these things and I know that my family is also sad that I cannot be there either.
So, today I decided to try to get out of this funk that I have been in by being more festive and start to do some things that I normally do in BC during Christmas. Things I am doing to try to solve this:
1) Uploaded Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" song onto my phone and put it as my ringtone
2) Today got a copy of "The Santa Clause" and "White Christmas" which are 2 of my favourite Christmas movies, and plan to watch them in the next few days
3) Bought all of the ingredients to do some Christmas baking. I have not done the baking yet due to the detox which will be over in less than 2 days.
4) Paint my nails red and maintain them throughout the holidays.
5) Go out and buy some Christmas lights and put them in the windows in the living room. The one thing that is holding me back a lot with getting in the spirit is that I own no Christmas decorations and am not hugely wanting to go out and spend a huge amount of money on decorations to pimp the place out. I think that lights will make a huge effect on me because they are so bright and cheerful.
That is what I have so far. If anyone has any ideas of how I can de-funk then I encourage you to post a message and leave me some suggestions. Thanks!