Wednesday, December 21, 2011
To Tree or Not To Tree?
I have 2 choices.
1) I can be the stubborn jerk that I tend to be in situations like this and just sit back and stare at the tree while holding anger in my heart knowing that this poor thing is going to die through no fault of my own. I said I wouldn't be a part of it and stick to my guns and be an asshole and just not do anything.
2) Get over myself, suck it up and start decorating the tree. I am angry that he got such a big tree because we just flat out don't have any ornaments to even begin to cover this thing. But I should honour the life of the tree and give it a few days of Christmas love, even if it's sparsely decorated and laughable to look at. I know that I will get up in a few minutes and start decorating it.
I hate being so stubborn and I wish I could turn off my stubbornness a lot more often than I seem to be able to. I know that I am blowing this way out of proportion and the whole thing is just stupid stupid stupid and I feel shame for admitting to my pettiness. Chris is just excited about the holiday and wants to do festive things and it's not his fault that I can't fully shake my Christmas funk. I just feel like a parent who's kid wants a dog and promised they'd look after the dog and take it for walks 3 times a day, only to be the one stuck walking the dog in the pouring rain and cleaning up the poop. I'd muchly prefer a dog though.