Monday, May 3, 2010

Calorie Free Weekend

I'm glad to announce that it is Monday. It was a very busy weekend to say the least. Friday night was Sarah’s bridal shower. There was a fairly decent turn out of people which was nice considering the mass amount of food that was prepared for the event. Oh, and just for the record, this was my calorie free weekend. At no time this weekend was I allowed to think about or be concerned about the obscene amount of calories that entered my mouth during the 48 hour period. My conscience just wouldn’t be able to handle the guilt. Anyway, the bridal shower went well. Sarah got some pretty rad gifts and she wasn’t too overwhelmed by all of the people there to celebrate her engagement/wedding. We had this one game going in which everyone had their names written on a piece of paper which were all put into a bag, and throughout the night we would randomly draw a name. The winner would have to come up to the front of the room and share a story about Sarah, and then the person would get a gift. A couple tear jerker moments were created that night, but some pretty hilarious stories were revealed to the crowd as well. I really wanted to have my name drawn because I had a story ready and waiting to share with everyone…but alas. My name was not pulled out. I figured it would be nice to tell everyone that my name is tattooed on Sarah’s bum. True story. Overall, after the guests all left and we cleaned up the hall, the night was proclaimed a success. Night #1….done.

So the following day was the bachelorette party up at Aunt Leslie’s house (just to note, Aunt Leslie is Sarah’s aunt, but I’ve called her Aunt Leslie since the beginning of time). The event started at about 7pm, but I went up early to help Leslie set up everything. Well, technically I first had to help with the putting together of Leslie’s costume since she was undecided on a few things…but we got that all in line in no time. School-girl outfits can be tricky sometimes. How short do I REALLY want the skirt? Should I wear shorts underneath? Do I want to be slutty school-girl or smart school-girl? Am I wearing too much plaid for the occasion? These are very real and difficult questions that one must ask herself.

After getting our outfits in line, we set up the food and welcomed the lovely lady who was heading the sex party aspect of the party. The guests started arriving around 7ish and we quickly busted into the booze and food. Once we were all introduced and a bit more relaxed, the sex party aspect of the evening began. In case anyone doesn’t know what a “sex party” is, there’s a woman who comes to your house and she sets up a little display in your house of various items. Depending on the type of party, she may have lingerie, lubricants, massage oils, bath salts, sex toys….all or any of the above plus lots lots more. Then one by one, each item is described and discussed with the group until all items have been shown. After everyone had a few more drinks and a bit more riled up, one by one each person at the party has the chance to go into a private room and purchase desired items from the party. It’s a whole lot of fun these things; especially when most of the women in the room have had several margaritas already. (PS. Aunt Leslie…you make amazing margaritas. Cut off points are hard to find when the Margarator comes out to play).

While people were making their private purchases, I went and got the amazingly delicious cake that Aunt Leslie had made up for the party. It was half chocolate, half vanilla and filled with vanilla cream. YUMMM! Oh, did I mention that there was a giant chocolate penis on top of the cake? That cake was quite the show piece. The rest of the evening went fairly smoothly. Captain Pecker made an appearance, as expected (he’s a gigantic inflatable penis). After most of the expendable guests left, a large group of us headed down to the Smelter Pub for some drinks and crappy music. We kept requesting better music, but the DJ just couldn’t please us. The place was pretty dead since there was the Bullarama in town that night, which means that most of Trail was the hoedown going on at the arena. No drunk cowboys for us! But we did have the pleasure of watching these three girls dancing who just might have been the worst dancers that any of us have ever seen. I give them credit for going up there and doing their thing…but it was bad. The ring-leader of the trio was wearing the shortest shorts you can wear without a Brazilian, and she just may have been the worst of them all. It was entertaining for sure.

So, lots of booze and some key footage for Girls Gone Wild later, we all headed in our separate directions for the evening. I’m very glad that I did not wear heels that night like most of the other ladies did.

Tip of the Day: Always plan ahead. Wearing heels on a night in which there may be copious amounts of drinking and dancing is not the greatest idea. Think.

Night #2…done.

Sunday was recovery day.

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