Friday, October 22, 2010

Change is Strange

The apartment hunt is officially over! We got a phone call on Tuesday telling us that we were approved for the apartment that we were holding out for. The relief of not having to keep calling to set up appointments to look at places is fantastic. Now I will admit that when the lady called to affirm all of this I started second guessing everything! Was it the right place? Should we keep looking? Can I really survive without any closets? (the place has no closets....) Do I want to live right in the heart of downtown like that? The questions and doubts just flooded my mind. But once I had a minute or two to think it all through, I remembered how much I liked that apartment when we walked through and how I pictured where our stuff would go and how we could decorate it. I am also glad that it's really close to work and the bus route to school. So we put wrote a check for the damage deposit and it's all done. We have an apartment.

Now, the real test begins. Finding the time and energy to pack up my stuff and move it down to Dorchester Street. The 1st of November is the worst day for me to move in terms of school work. I have a quiz, a midterm, a paper and an ADIME to write due for that day. For those who don't know what ADIMES are, they are pure evil Clinical Nutrition assignments. It's not so much that they're hard as you just second guess everything that you write about and end up handing it in with the confidence of a chihuahua entering an iron man competition. I think that if I do the packing slowly when I have pockets of time then I can get it done in time.

This morning I woke up a little early and the house was empty so I decided to do a tiny bit of packing. It just felt strange. I think what made it so strange is that I am the only one packing so when I remove my things from the bookshelf or a cupboard, Sam and Kaylynne's stuff remains in place. I feel this guilt of removing my stuff and leaving the rest. Knowing that I am leaving these girls here while I move downtown is hard. Really hard. There's a sense of abandonment within me and it sucks and I'm not sure how to deal with such a feeling. I feel like one of those wives who packs up all of her stuff while her husband is at work and leaves only a note in the entryway to say "Goodbye and Good Riddance!" Except I'm not saying goodbye or good riddance. I guess change is just strange. I am definitely a believer that change is good and is needed for people to grow and learn...but still it can really suck sometimes.

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